As uncertainty clouds my vision, I try to find my own path with my passions as my guide; music, dogs, writing, drawing and photography. I strive to rebel against my own mind, trying not to think about the future and the what if’s.
My self-esteem has hit rock bottom and I can feel the effects taking it’s toll on me. The memory of an independent, confident me is nothing but a distant memory, as I now question my every move. There was a time when I never doubted my own creativity, going with the flow and creating without the worry of the eyes of others. My mind in this moment doesn’t even dare to develop a creative thought, afraid of not being good enough, afraid of not being able to be executed to perfection. My mind is blank – numb from all the self-doubt. What is more terrifying than a brain afraid of thought, when your energy is gained from your own curious and creative mind?
My project will be an exploration of my own mind, feelings and strive for perfection; the unattainable goal that shatters my own self worth.